it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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