You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
