$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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