he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
