You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
