I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
