I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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