I seem to have left my pride at pride
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
