was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
