make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
