So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
