I feel great
I just peed on a car
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize