Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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