Me. At least after what I've been through.
we made out on top of his cat.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
why do cheetos always look like penises
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
