Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
