I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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