I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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