you would pick up someone in the library
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
