Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Congratulations! We have a period
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