The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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