Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize