How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
