Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
