Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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