Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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