Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
