We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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