great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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