One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
