i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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