I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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