We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
