im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
