the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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