Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize