I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
