There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
