I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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