Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
