Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
