I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
