He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize