I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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