It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize