He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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