bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
