I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize