well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
