Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
