I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
