seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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