he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
