i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
