How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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