it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
