If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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