Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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