Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It's never too late to be topless.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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