so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
