Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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