I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
