Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
