I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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