Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
