I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
