bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
