YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
