We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
